Well. I can say, that things are ever interesting. I would have to say Iapos;m in a much less dark place than I was a few days ago. Though that little writeup helped me sort out a lot of my thoughts, as well as talking with some friends. I mean, I really have to face the next few steps in my life.
Everything changes, and I will survive some way or another. I realize, that through the next stages in my life to be in a relationship would be irresponsible, and distracting from my goals. When Iapos;m going to school and achieving what I want, I will have precious little time for anything but schoolwork, not even time for myself.. Let alone another soul. It is definately something that I shall have to leave alone for awhile.
Itapos;s been a crazy day in some respects today. Iapos;ve been getting ready to move, and Iapos;ve been doing a massive downsizing of stuff. Itapos;s rather crazy. Going through closets of stuff, narrowing down what I donapos;t want or need... To which there is a surprising volume of crap. Itapos;s nice, and scary at the same time. Itapos;s a little hard to believe the amount of stuff that I had dragged over here with me.
I have a like, 12 foot line of stuff all ready to be thrown out. Just random crap that I had recovered from my dadapos;s place. I doubt I will be as compact as my one roommate ever, but Iapos;m getting there. Most of the stuff that will be moved will be mine.. We can probably take all of Daves stuff over in the Car, haha.
Slowly though, then I will have to focus on actually putting the stuff in boxes, which for things like my books itapos; gets a little crazy. I can probably fill around 10 good sized boxes, which is a little crazy. I will keep adding to it too, hahaha. Though, Iapos;m sure I will negate most of my stuff.
Iapos;m going to be making a list when I move of like.. Objects I need. Like, a bookshelf, because I wont have the ledge that is built into the wall. I have a dresser for my clothes once I remove all the junk from it haha.. And lessen the amount of clothes I have. Then, I want a new bed. I mean, yeah, the frame is really nice. I mean good wood and a mirror anapos; all that. Like, fancy shit, but I want something thatapos;s comfortable yet easier to move around, or one of those crazy sofa beds, that like drops into a bed. Which is awesome in itself.. That way I can sleep on a couch when I want too and I can stay in my room.
Iapos;m pretty happy otherwise with the stuff I have. I mean, Iapos;m going to get rid of a lot.. And try and replace some of the old shit with nicer stuff. Like my clothes Haha. Now that Iapos;ve dropped so much weight nothing fits me at all. Itapos;s enough to drive me crazy. I have like, two whole pairs of pants that fit me. Even then they sag anoyingly.
I guess you can say Iapos;m slowly figuring this all out. Thinking is nice, and being able to type just as fast as I think is really helpful, beacuse It gives me time to double think things over, and make plans. Plans are good to have, they give you goals and directions. I just canapos;t wait till Iapos;m working again and I have some balance to my lifestyle.. And figure out if Iapos;m going to die or not. Ha.
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